Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Randomize
