it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize