how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
