All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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