..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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