i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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