Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
