In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
