so explain again why im purple
no
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
