i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
