just survived the first fart of the relationship.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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