Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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