I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
