I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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