He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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