this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
