On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm drive I can fine osifer
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
