At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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