were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
