she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
