Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
