Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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