i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize