If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Randomize
