The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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