on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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