i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
