Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I CAN MOONWALK!
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
