I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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