I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
