Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
