Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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