grandma shit on top of the toilet
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i came on her dog
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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