you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize