Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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