She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize