My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
