Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
