when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
