i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
My cat gives me a boner
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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