is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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