i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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