just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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