the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I need water and some morals
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
