Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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