She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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