Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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