how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
