Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My cat gives me a boner
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
