he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
