i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
