Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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