a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
