Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
