he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
