and she was petting her beer can
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
