i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
