bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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