I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
