i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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