she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
