idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
