Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Don't EVER smell your tampon
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize