Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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