So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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