He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
