And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
