I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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