Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
