Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
